April 13, 2019 Marriage According to Quran

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4 Requirements for Marriage

  1. Mutual desire and intention that the a man and a women would like to get married to spend the rest of their lives as a strictly monogamous couple
  2. Man provides the dowry - agree between the two what that is
  3. Solemn pledge man makes to the women
  4. Consummation 

Should you do a formal marriage under state law? Should you announce it? Should you have a ceremony? 

Ask yourself why not? Are you trying to make it easy to divorce

Only Mutually Acceptable Transactions Can Be Made

[4:29] O you who believe, do not consume each others' properties illicitly - only mutually acceptable transactions are permitted. You shall not kill yourselves. GOD is Merciful towards you.

The expectation is that the marriage is supposed to be for their entire lives

Protection for the Women

[4:20] If you wish to marry another wife, in place of your present wife, and you had given any of them a great deal, you shall not take back anything you had given her. Would you take it fraudulently, maliciously, and sinfully? [4:21] How could you take it back, after you have been intimate with each other, and they had taken from you a solemn pledge?

You Shall Keep Your Word

[16:91] You shall fulfill your covenant with GOD when you make such a covenant. You shall not violate the oaths after swearing (by God) to carry them out, for you have made GOD a guarantor for you. GOD knows everything you do. [16:92] Do not be like the knitter who unravels her strong knitting into piles of flimsy yarn. This is your example if you abuse the oaths to take advantage of one another. Whether one group is larger than the other, GOD thus puts you to the test. He will surely show you on the Day of Resurrection everything you had disputed.

God discourages divorce

(temporary marriages) is just prostitution

[24:33] Those who cannot afford to get married shall maintain morality until GOD provides for them from His grace. .… You shall not force your girls (women) to commit prostitution, seeking the materials of this world, if they wish to be chaste. If anyone forces them, then GOD, seeing that they are forced, is Forgiver, Merciful.

[2:191] ...Oppression is worse than murder.

Age

[17:38] All bad behavior is condemned by your Lord.

Morality - all bad behavior is prohibited - not sure what that is ask 10 people do you think this is good behavior if 9/10 people tell you that isn’t moral behavior then it probably isn't

Word for marriage is full grown / working age / done with puberty (women)

4:127 - النِّسَاءِ = (al-neesa - like name of cousin) the orphan women

ن س و = women 

Root = ف ت ي

to be young; full-grown; brave; generous; youth; generosity; manly qualities; young man; bold; courageous; young slave; fine fellow; servant; to advise; explain; give opinion or instruction; judgment or decision in a matter of law; give a formal legal decree; issue a (divine) decree or a sacred law; explain the meaning; pronounce; to consult; ask opinion or advice; decision; opinion; advice

4:25 - فَتَيَاتِكُمُ = (fatty yateh koom ) full-grown young women

24:33 - full-grown women (young women) - in context of forcing to prostitution

Root for female - irrespective of age is 

ا ن ث = female = أُنْثَىٰ 

[3:36] When she gave birth to her, she said, "My Lord, I have given birth to a girl"—GOD was fully aware of what she bore—"The male is not the same as the female. I have named her Mary and I invoke Your protection for her and her descendants from the rejected devil."

The age of marriage also means puberty 

ن ك ح = to tie; make a knot; contract; cement; marriage (age of marriage / age to sign a contract) 

النِّكَاحَ -  age of marriage / puberty / sexual maturity / age to be able to sign a contract independently

4:6

Khalifa

You shall test the orphans when they reach puberty. As soon as you find them mature enough, give them their property. Do not consume it extravagantly in a hurry, before they grow up. The rich guardian shall not charge any wage, but the poor guardian may charge equitably. When you give them their properties, you shall have witnesses. GOD suffices as Reckoner.

Yusuf Ali

Make trial of orphans until they reach the age of marriage; if then ye find sound judgment in them, release their property to them; but consume it not wastefully, nor in haste against their growing up. If the guardian is well-off, Let him claim no remuneration, but if he is poor, let him have for himself what is just and reasonable. When ye release their property to them, take witnesses in their presence: But all-sufficient is God in taking account.

Pickthal

Prove orphans till they reach the marriageable age; then, if ye find them of sound judgment, deliver over unto them their fortune; and devour it not by squandering and in haste lest they should grow up Whoso (of the guardians) is rich, let him abstain generously (from taking of the property of orphans); and whoso is poor let him take thereof in reason (for his guardianship). And when ye deliver up their fortune unto orphans, have (the transaction) witnessed in their presence. Allah sufficeth as a Reckoner.

Shakir

And test the orphans until they attain puberty; then if you find in them maturity of intellect, make over to them their property, and do not consume it extravagantly and hastily, lest they attain to full age; and whoever is rich, let him abstain altogether, and whoever is poor, let him eat reasonably; then when you make over to them their property, call witnesses in their presence; and Allah is enough as a Reckoner.

Sher Ali

And test the understanding of orphans until they attain the age of marriage, then, if you perceive in them mature judgment, deliver to them their property; and devour it not in extravagance and haste against their growing up. And whoso is rich, let him abstain; and who so is poor let him eat thereof with equity. And when you deliver to them their property, then call witnesses in their presence. And Allah is sufficient as a Reckoner.

 

 

 

shows that maturity is when someone is of sound mind and body

Marriage is a contract - need someone of sound mind to agree to a contract

[2:282]...If the debtor is mentally incapable, or helpless, or cannot dictate, his guardian shall dictate equitably.

Dowry / Engagement

[4:4] You shall give the women their due dowries, equitably. If they willingly forfeit anything, then you may accept it; it is rightfully yours.

[4:24] …These are GOD's commandments to you. All other categories are permitted for you in marriage, so long as you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain your morality, by not committing adultery. Thus, whoever you like among them, you shall pay them the dowry decreed for them. You commit no error by mutually agreeing to any adjustments to the dowry. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise. 

Breaking the Engagement  = divorce

[2:236] You commit no error by divorcing the women before touching them, or before setting the dowry for them. In this case, you shall compensate them—the rich as he can afford and the poor as he can afford —an equitable compensation. This is a duty upon the righteous. [2:237] If you divorce them before touching them, but after you had set the dowry for them, the compensation shall be half the dowry, unless they voluntarily forfeit their rights, or the party responsible for causing the divorce chooses to forfeit the dowry. To forfeit is closer to righteousness. You shall maintain the amicable relations among you. GOD is Seer of everything you do.

Need to be able to afford to marry

[24:33] Those who cannot afford to get married shall maintain morality until GOD provides for them from His grace.

Those among your servants who wish to be freed in order to marry, you shall grant them their wish, once you realize that they are honest. And give them from GOD's money that He has bestowed upon you…

Honoring the parents by asking permission from them 4:25

[4:25] Those among you who cannot afford to marry free believing women, may marry believing slave women. GOD knows best about your belief, and you are equal to one another, as far as belief is concerned. You shall obtain permission from their guardians (family Ah-lee hee nah) before you marry them, and pay them their due dowry equitably. They shall maintain moral behavior, by not committing adultery, or having secret lovers. Once they are freed through marriage, if they commit adultery, their punishment shall be half of that for the free women.* Marrying a slave shall be a last resort for those unable to wait. To be patient is better for you. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.

Who we can’t marry 

Respect for the Father 

[4:22] Do not marry the women who were previously married to your fathers—existing marriages are exempted and shall not be broken—for it is a gross offense, and an abominable act. 

Incest Forbidden 

[4:23] Prohibited for you (in marriage) are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, the sisters of your fathers, the sisters of your mothers, the daughters of your brother, the daughters of your sister, your nursing mothers, the girls who nursed from the same woman as you, the mothers of your wives, the daughters of your wives with whom you have consummated the marriage—if the marriage has not been consummated, you may marry the daughter. Also prohibited for you are the women who were married to your genetic sons. Also, you shall not be married to two sisters at the same time—but do not break up existing marriages. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.

[4:24] Also prohibited are the women who are already married, unless they flee their disbelieving husbands who are at war with you.* These are GOD's commandments to you. All other categories are permitted for you in marriage, so long as you pay them their due dowries….

Henry Ford about the model T: “You can have any color as long as it is black”

[2:221] Do not marry idolatresses unless they believe; a believing woman is better than an idolatress, even if you like her. Nor shall you give your daughters in marriage to idolatrous men, unless they believe. A believing man is better than an idolater, even if you like him. These invite to Hell, while GOD invites to Paradise and forgiveness, as He wills. He clarifies His revelations for the people, that they may take heed.

What about homosexuality? 

[7:80] Lot said to his people, "You commit such an abomination; no one in the world has done it before!

[7:81] "You practice sex with the men, instead of the women. Indeed, you are a transgressing people." 

[42:50] Or, He may have the males and the females marry each other, then render whomever He wills sterile. He is Omniscient, Omnipotent.

What the right hand possess

Or not And

[23:5] And they maintain their chastity.

[23:6] Only with their spouses, or those who are rightfully theirs, do they have sexual relations; they are not to be blamed.  

مَلَكَتْ =  possess / owner of / or to take a wife

أَيْمَانُهُمْ =  right hand / oaths / vows 

[70:29] They keep their chastity. [70:30] (They have sexual relations) only with their spouses, or what is legally theirs - [70:31] anyone who transgresses these limits is a sinner.

أَيْمَانُهُمْ = See: 9:12. 9:13, 16:94 = oaths

[9:12] If they violate their oaths after pledging to keep their covenants, and attack your religion, you may fight the leaders of paganism—you are no longer bound by your covenant with them—that they may refrain. [9:13] Would you not fight people who violated their treaties, tried to banish the messenger, and they are the ones who started the war in the first place? Are you afraid of them? GOD is the One you are supposed to fear, if you are believers.

30:28 = servants

4:3 = you already have 

33:50 = what they already have

16:71 = subordinate 

4:25 = slave

9:12 = oaths

9:13 = oaths

4:24 = took a vow for marriage

[33:55] The women may relax (their dress code) around their fathers, their sons, their brothers, the sons of their brothers, the sons of their sisters, the other women, and their (female) servants. They shall reverence GOD. GOD witnesses all things.

Divorce 

Marriage Arbitration

[4:35] If a couple fears separation, you shall appoint an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family; if they decide to reconcile, GOD will help them get together. GOD is Omniscient, Cognizant.

Divorce Discouraged 

[4:128] If a woman senses oppression or desertion from her husband, the couple shall try to reconcile their differences, for conciliation is best for them. Selfishness is a human trait, and if you do good and lead a righteous life, GOD is fully Cognizant of everything you do.

Polygamy 

Grounds For Polygamy

[4:3] If you deem it best for the orphans, you may marry their mothers—you may marry two, three, or four. If you fear lest you become unfair, then you shall be content with only one, or with what you already have. Additionally, you are thus more likely to avoid financial hardship.

Polygamy Discouraged

[4:129] You can never be equitable in dealing with more than one wife, no matter how hard you try. Therefore, do not be so biased as to leave one of them hanging (neither enjoying marriage, nor left to marry someone else). If you correct this situation and maintain righteousness, GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.

Polygamy was a way of life until the Quran was revealed 1400 years ago. When the earth was young and under-populated, polygamy was one way of populating it and bringing in the human beings needed to carry out God's plan. By the time the Quran was revealed, the world had been sufficiently populated, and the Quran put down the first limitations against polygamy. Polygamy is permitted in the Quran, but under strictly observed circumstances. Any abuse of this divine permission incurs severe retribution. Thus, although polygamy is permitted by God, it behooves us to examine our circumstances carefully before saying that a particular polygamous relationship is permissible. 

1. It must alleviate pain and suffering and not cause any pain or suffering.

2. If you have a young family, it is almost certain that polygamy is an abuse. 

3. Polygamy to substitute a younger wife is an abuse of God's law.

Don’t ascribe to Hadith and the disgusting lies they have about the prophet. As far as I am concerned the prophet was bound by the Quran.

God Strengthens the Messenger

[17:73] They almost diverted you from the revelations we have given you. They wanted you to fabricate something else, in order to consider you a friend. [17:74] If it were not that we strengthened you, you almost leaned towards them just a little bit. [17:75] Had you done that, we would have doubled the retribution for you in this life, and after death, and you would have found no one to help you against us. [17:76] They almost banished you from the land to get rid of you, so they could revert as soon as you left. [17:77] This has been consistently the case with all the messengers that we sent before you, and you will find that our system never changes.